having my baby

Harper Louise Willison

Born 9:01 am June 9, 2012

Weighing in at 6lb. 6oz.

I started having contractions at 6 am the Friday morning before she was born. That means I was laboring for 27 hours total...most of which were spent at home, without drugs, without control of my fluids, and as a result my husband may look at me differently.  Throughout the day the pain continued to become more and more unbearable. I kept asking when I should go to the hospital and the common response was when I felt like I wanted to die then I would be ready to go. Ok, that's helpful. I thought that moment came around 2 am so I woke Joel up sure that we would be staying at the hospital that night. I was wrong. After waiting in Triage while still in pain and then finally being checked after another 15 minutes of waiting we were told I was still only 1 1/2cm dilated. I wasn't near death enough apparently because they sent me home. They did give me a pill that didn't help me sleep or cut the pain but did however make me feel groggy. So we went home to continue laboring. I don't remember much after this point but Joel said it was pretty rough and that he may look at me differently now. I didn't think it was possible but the contractions did get worse and I wanted to die even more so than the first time so by 7 am Saturday morning I told Joel I was going back to the hospital and staying whether they wanted me there or not. When they checked me this time I had progressed to 7cm and they could tell the baby was breech so I went directly in to surgery and the baby was out 2 hours later. I really don't think I would have been capable of a vaginal birth when it was all said and done. I was so ready to get my drugs and just lay there.
We are constantly in disbelief that she is ours. You just can't imagine the love that you will have for your child until you finally meet them. No matter how much sleep we lose or how many diapers we have to change it all is worth it and when I look at her little face I just can't imagine our lives without her in it now.