Nothing you may read or learn from other parents about parenting can come close to preparing you for the real thing. Having a baby has really put things into perspective for me. I had all of these fantasies about what kind of mom I'd be but it wasn't until I actually became a mom that I realized that's just what they were, fantasies. Now I understand how a woman can go hours upon hours without bathing or eating. I've even had to put peeing on the back burner a couple of times...which I never thought I'd see as a luxury but it totally is! The first two weeks we had Harper at home were a little rough to say the least. I felt like a zombie. The 2 1/2-3hrs between feedings were just not cutting it. Do I try to rest, sterilize nipples, pump, clean the house, entertain guests, shower, check Facebook, take my medicine? It was not nearly enough time to do anything at all.
I have never experienced anything like this before and I don't regret it even the slightest bit. I am constantly in awe that my husband and I could create something so perfect. She has surpassed anything I ever imagined she would be with her sweet little face and growing personality. There is something so special about being a mom. Part of me feels bad for Joel because he didn't get to experience being pregnant and even now I see the bond I share with her that they just don't have. I secretly love it though. Sometimes I am the only one that can comfort her. Sometimes when I'm holding her over my shoulder to calm her she puts her head in my neck or even up to my face to be closer to me. I'm sure Joel will be her favorite soon enough but for now I'm going to take advantage of it.
All that to say it hasn't been picture perfect or anything like I expected and I'm tired a lot of the time but when I look at my daughter's face I am so thankful she's mine. God blessed us with something we will never deserve and I hope I never take it for granted.